I'll Return as Waterbird _ What's this Song About?

Listen

It started on the bells - a pattern I tapped out on my fingers absentmindedly, and then I picked up some pencils to replicate it, finally found the mallets and went in earnest.

I hummed a long for weeks, with a melody, and couldn't figure out in my mind what the song was about. This is always the case with songs that start with music. The meaning is under many layers.

Images started to come and sometimes it's a little embarrassing to let these out, they seem random and not related to any specific event in my life. I've come to learn that they are more relevant than anything I "think" of to write about. They come from deeper places.

You may have noticed that birds show up a lot in these tunes. They are my guardians, a great blue heron always seems to be near, no matter where I live, even in the suburbs. Even at the beach.

Allowing the images to tell the story to me is like watching a wonderful movie/dream, and over the years I'll know more about what it means.

Basically: Lying in fields for answers is something I've done since a toddler - I'm always letting go of something, the bird flies over, and I become the bird, I let the old things lie in the field, I become the next part of myself. I trust this part to take me into the dark places, to warm me through them.

A lot of the letting go is from religious expectations, old forms, and yet the bird nestling me under the wing is an image I learned from the Bible. There is ancient wisdom in everything, there are things that get messed up.

The earth always seems to be the thing I can trust, the thing that knows, breathed through with the vibration of all love and Spirit. The Native American honor of the sacred earth is so inspiring to me.

The delicacy of the bells against the big thrum of the drums feels perfect, the harmonium in the minor keys feels next-worldly to me. Man, this was a tough one to sing through! Not a lot of places for breath, but I love singing it... And here are the lyrics!

Baby I’ve been feeling so gone
Lyin in a field for so long
Under wings and buzzin things
If I listen good I’ll live long

Harvest ball you’ll be free of me
Of the darkest spark of evenin'
I’ll return as water bird
Greatness fill the river of my blood

I will take you darling
Deep into the evening
I will take you darling
Deep into the night

They’ll say whatever has happened
Some will tell and some won't listen
We saw silver sail glisten
O’er the sea, she’s gone to find her (love)

Where has she gone, where has she flown
Lightness lifting hollow bone
Feathers holding wind to a home
That was there long before she was born

I will take you darling
Deep into the evening
I will take you darling
Deep into the night
Come my little darling
Deep under my warm wing
I will take you darling deep into the night

The truth comes out
I’m light as air without you
The truth comes out
I often think about you

Baby I’ve been feeling so gone
Lying in a field for so long
Under wings and buzzing things
Listen’ to their every day song

After long I learned their ancient
Tellings and I took their secret
I fly over where we summered
And from my high heart I send my love
My love
My love
Oh my love