Show in San Francisco October 19th

FREE SONG
to pass along!

Petracovich@
HOTEL UTAH
Tuesday, October 19th
8pm, $6
with Ash Reiter
Jamie Drake

Tuesday, October 19th!

Get a free ticket if you put up a poster in SF and send us a picture of it!

send me an email at jessica@redbuttonsrecords.com to help!

A great night at a victorian-esque club, some new tunes, drums, bells, vocals, and beer. All the best things in life.

Since

I can feel it now when I sing,
The difference between now and then.
Between before I became a mama
And after.
Since I held my son in my arms
and had to let him go,
Since that shattering
And re-gathering
I think the pieces have been put back together
with more space between them,
more flexibility, more softness,
more understandings of the hurts behind people's faces
more aware of the joys in things like dahlias.

And when I sing now,
I can hear Otto there.
Which warms my heart so.
Because at first the question was
Where is he?
And it hurt so much not to know.
I have different places I see him
In the stars at night,
Particularly the planets that shine against the darkening blue,
In the sad stories on the news, other people's losses,
I hear him
in the softness of my heart that comes out my breath and in songs.
I am so glad to see him.

Music in the Sacred Trees

Sun fell through the branches in golden spots, the mosquitos glowed where the light was bright.
We sat around the quiet place and looked up, almost loving the silence more than wanting to play.

But Walking in Sunlight made the perfect entrance with "three beautiful voices, a banjo and timeless folk songs" (bay bridged), I had to really hold back not to sing along, they just lift the voice right out of you.

Heather, Max and I had such a beautiful time playing, fingers cold as the evening mist came down, in such a holy spot. Luna fell asleep to "We Must Have Been Birds".

Thank you to all who were able to come and be in this wonderful place. We hope to play at the Botanical Gardens again. It's peaceful just to drive up there and be in the hills with the plants.

Show at UC Berkeley Botanical Gardens

It's called the Redwood Amphitheater. We get to play under the trees on July 29th at 5:30pm!

I grew up under the trees in the woods of Occidental, Ca, about an hour north. The trees were like extra mothers and fathers to me. Deep shade with tufts of light, like clouds floating along the forest floor. Ferns and clover grew under the boughs, some grasses, and they moved and creaked as they swayed in the breeze. We had a hammock to dream on, and watch the bays and the redwoods mingle. On hot days, it was the most comforting scent of warm earth, spicy pine and laurel, dank clay and water from the creek. These are the smells and sounds of growing up, of coming to be in the world.

I sang all the songs of Les Miserables as loud as I could in those woods. And some Ray Charles and Patsy Cline too.

All this to say that playing under redwood trees is like being home. Like playing next to the fire where your grandparents sit.

I'm so excited to bring both together again. Music and trees. Air and song.

We'd love to see you there this Thursday with a picnic blanket and your daydreaming heart, to enjoy the low sun and our best happy tunes. Children, families, all are welcome to enjoy music and nature and support the Gardens all at once!

Garden Grooves: Redwood Grove Concert Series: Folk Rock Night

Performing Arts - Music | July 29 | 5:30-7 p.m. $15, $12 members per concert. Children under 5 Free, Children 5-17 half price.Registration info: Register by calling 510-643-2755, or by emailing garden@berkeley.edu.200 Centennial Drive, Berkeley, CA 94720-5045

Petracovich At the Pub

I drove through the Sonoma wine country on a beautiful, sunny evening to get to this show. Baby and husband stayed home and my girlfriend and I made the trip together through the green vineyards and the rolling hills and the big grandfather oaks of the place where I live.

A moment of peacefulness and wellness to soak in so many colors and so much beauty.

Parked in the lovely downtown square in Sonoma, CA and hauled my 50 pound keyboard on its wheels with heels on over cobblestones to the venue, Murphy's Irish Pub. A cozy room, I was honored to be the special guest at their weekly open mic.



To play a show just to entertain, to laugh with friends and new friends, to be still with myself and the music, is a breath of fresh air, and helps me get my lungs back. Back from years of seemingly endless promoting, from a couple years of grieving a deep loss, and from the lovely hours of mommyhood of the last 7 months.

And of coarse, it is always awesome to get free food. (Fish tacos with fresh tomato salsa and fresh cole slaw, yummmmm.) You might as well know, I think that food is one of the main reasons to keep living!

Friends came, songwriter friends Dana and Forest and Julia who played some new songs for us. So good to be a part of this community. Thanks Sean and Marty for putting it on! I had a great time.

How it's been

Since my little Otto died, I haven't written much music. It's like the wind got kicked out of me and it's tough to be in the vulnerable space that was so tender for writing. I'd feel guilty about it accept that there is no energy for that. Just surviving was good enough .

I was lucky to have Crepusculo to release and a project to focus on, cities to travel to, shows to play to get through the craziness of grief at that time. And my blogs and twitters and emails gave me things to focus on outside such pain. But they haven't told the whole picture. And now Luna is here. And I'm getting some legs under me, and I can be more honest.

And my heart is still so tender. So easy to cry when I hear the news about the war or pesticides that cause birth defects, or when I think back to the time Otto was here, and I realize now that this is my time to BE and heal. To watch butterflies in the garden, to play with books, to take in a big, gummy baby smile. To watch and feel music unfold in life. I think I'm baking, and I can't take out the new creations until they're ready to be taken out.

I love music, how a beat vibrates and moves me, how strings draw out my heart, how a good lyric can change my day, and it's nice to appreciate all the amazing work out there without just comparing myself to it, or wishing I'd written it. Just let myself be affected by it.

I hope for the music that comes in the near future to be free from needing to accomplish so much. Life really is short. I want to love it. I want my music to reflect that - the darkness and shadow of it, the light and joy of it. I'm a little intimidated to write when I have been through so much; how can I encapsulate that? I never know what is going to come out, and I suppose I just need to allow it, not plan what it should sound like. That never works anyway.

Thanks for being here for the walk of grief and joy and everything in between. Here we go.

Petracovich loves Whales in the Gulf

LISTEN
They're Sperm Whales to be specific. They can reach 60 feet and are the largest and only endangered marine mammal in the Gulf.
They dive into deep waters, the cold and dark, finding squid to eat, and can stay under the surface for 45 minutes before resurfacing.

People are worried about them because they don't have babies very often, and even if 3 whales are killed due to the oil spill, it could wipe out this population. They were already in danger.

I asked a wise and trusted friend who is very connected to the earth how she is dealing with this spill, the emotion of so much damage. She said, "you have to let your heart break open again and again and again and again."

Sometimes there is so much sadness. Sometimes we hurt, badly hurt, people and things that we love and need. We do it without thinking, without knowing. But that doesn't undo it. So I'm letting myself be sad about this. Trying to be present for all the life there. To take responsibility but not dwell in guilt. To take heart, so all the beings there can take heart. How beautiful they are, this mama and baby.

Sperm whales sing to each other. The whales are also highly social creatures that stay in tight-knit groups for 10 or more years, and mothers typically rely on other adults to look after their young. Listen to their wonderful clicky voices here. Some sounds I think I'll sample!